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because i know you read this   
05:35pm 19/01/2009
  i miss you like woahs ms leia organa, it makes my stomach flip and twist and i couldnt be happier  
     

[Show me your knife]

 
butterflies in my stomach   
07:54am 05/09/2007
   couldnt even sleep last night, kept waking up and staring at the clock. i haven't been this nervous in a long time. its like someone tied my stomach in knots and keeps stretching and pulling it. i've said it before and i'll say it again, that girl makes me feel amazing, but if she doesnt want to be mine, then there isn't much i can do about besides asking her one last time for a chance. just gotta be patient andsee how this happens... k im done whining  
     

[Show me your knife]

 
mushy alert   
06:52pm 30/05/2007
 

maybe im going about this all the wrong way
i have so many things to say,
but yet everytime i talk to you
i can only say one thing
and i have never ever meant it more
and i mean it more everytime i say it
you'll always be in my heart
even if you dont want to be mine,
i'll always be yours.
pathetic? im starting to think so,
but its not gonna stop me.
my life has been touched by you
in ways i cant even describe
i'd give up everything just to fall asleep
next to you for one night
you are my best friend
my soulmate
the one and only for me
i know this
i'm not confused
i've thought this through
i love you
i will until the day i die
i love you savannah mae
you are the one who saved me
from certain doom
and i threw it all away
i know i dont even deserve you
but if you could ever forgive me
and maybe even
take another chance with me
you would never regret it
i'll be yours til the day i die.

 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
   
07:59pm 07/05/2007
  if you feel like coming all the way out to gloucester, im totally having a get together friday and/or saturday, let me know whats up if you wanna head out.  
     

[2 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
   
09:42am 05/05/2007
 

princess leia, where are you?

 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
   
12:56pm 30/04/2007
 

i'm not scared anymore. what happens, happens.

 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
animals   
09:34pm 29/03/2007
 
 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
   
08:39pm 21/03/2007
  i would love to say that we'll bounce back from this
that it'll all be fine in the end
but this isnt a sitcom
this is the real world
and when you mess up, you dont get to make it
better by sayong a few lines of dialouge
that gets you off the hook 2 minutes before the show ends
living life 26 minutes at a time
there's a thought
live a life where one liners are commonplace
that everyone laughs at your jokes no matter how many times you say them
but out here, its takes some time






~!~~~~~~~
lesson for the day: http://www.news.com.au//story/0,23599,21420231-2,00.html
 
     

[1 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
emo stuff   
06:31pm 04/03/2007
  yea... here goes, its been a while since ive had to write something like this, so bear with me. there's a couple to post up 
 
 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
   
08:43pm 01/03/2007
  it's one of those places
where it's not important
to know everyone's name
just every word
from someone's lips
whom you've never met
but for that hour
you're best friends
singing in harmony
alone in a crowd
everyone is your friend
giving it your all
like you'll never see them again
 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
damn its been forever   
11:28am 31/12/2006
 
mood: nostalgic
we must be slowing down
the streetlights are taking longer to pass
maybe the milestones are just getting farther apart
maybe we're just slowing down
or maybe its just me
speed isn't the key
it's all about getting out of the corners
obstacles if you will
we can clear this corner
as well as the next
every turn we complete together
makes us stronger
makes you stronger
makes me stronger
its all a part of this thing called "life"
its not about who finishes first.
its its all about who has the best ride
 
     

[1 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
(still old stuff)   
07:17pm 06/03/2006
  the hero loses this time

he was such a strong and confident boy
now he trembles and stutters
"tell me the hero lives"
he says shakily as he dodges her stare
he was always able to talk to anyone
but with her
he stutters and stumbles
he's never been worried about what he's said
or what they thought
or how they felt
but somethign about her
makes the always comfortable
uneasy
"tell me the good guy wins"
 
     

[1 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
our love is as real as this ice   
01:44pm 20/02/2006
  pick out a cd baby
make it good
we're one gaurdrail away from fate
hurry up
hold on
my god
you're more beautiful
on the pavement
its all because
that pretty face
and slender body
is all you ever had
my god
your soul
has always been
ugly and loud
until now
motionless and silent
in the flashing lights
laying on the blacktop
 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
this is the only thing i ever wrote for you terra   
09:50pm 18/02/2006
  he rounds the corner of the house
the house silent like the rest of the night
everyone inside sleeping, like he should be
well, everyone but her
hugging the garage door
he waits for her
"why am i doing this?"
he asks himself silently
she comes around the corner
"i cant see you for long"
she says, of course,
she's never been able to see him for too long
with that they kiss
share a few words
they part with the usual resisitance
he tells her
"i love you"
she returns the same words
wishing she could mean them
she's sure as hell
hate to break this poor boy's heart



maybe that was the plan?
 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
old stuff once more   
11:28am 16/02/2006
  those eyes
piercing and vigilant
waiting for me to slip
smiling, devilish and maniacal in nature
your mind
hellbent on having
the upper hand
well the hammer will fall
but it won't fall figuratively
it'll crush those eyes
and destroy that smile
the hammer has fallen
and it fell on you.
i have brought you
to your knees
with little more than
 
     

[2 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
man i didnt even know i wrote this   
05:54pm 13/02/2006
  you've shown me a lot, you've exposed layers in me that i never knew existed. you've shown me wonderful talent, and grotesque squander. you have shown me visions of happiness and i've felt your pain. i always lets you shine, but now is my time to show you my mind, but not yet. you will know when my time has arrived.  
     

[4 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
Bring it Down   
05:56pm 07/02/2006
  i wanna burn this town to the ground
and laugh over the flames
take me by the hand
and take in the flames
let's watch our past curl up and wither
go back to start
let's build what we want
the flames are beautiful
they have no concern, burning what it touches
no concern for anything at all
no feelings for the hurt or unlucky
let's watch our past curl up and wither
let's watch this town fall down
 
     

[4 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
somethign i started writing   
10:25pm 30/01/2005
  Ring! Ring!

A phone jars him from his sleep. He raises his head and breaks a saliva strand attaching him to the des. After he rubs his face and eyes he looks to the clock to see that it reads 6:30 in the hideous red LCD.

Ring! Ring!

Sounds of the bustling office flood back to him as he regains sight and conscience.

Ring! Ring!

He lifts up the handset from the cradle on his desk. Dial tone.

Ring! Ring!

The ringing is coming from his associate’s desk. He leans over the short grey cubicle wall. The ringing phone silenced. Miller isn’t here again. In another second the light would blink meaning there was a message. Miller has a mistress and manages to juggle her and his wife. He is shaking his head trying to understand the fascination of leading a double life such as that. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t even imagine having a wife. He was slave to music and the white collar. More importantly the music. When he was 16, he was exposed to a whole world of music that many people do now know even exists. A world of music where the musicians have to take off from work to tour and where they are real people, famous in their own ways. They don’t have much but what they have, they share. Hardcore was his life and his wife.

He deftly pulls out his iPod, the ear buds into his ears and whirls his thumb around the circle in hopes of finding something good to listen to. He stumbled across something fitting for the drudgery of the last half hour of work, Blood In, Blood Out. The music pounds his ears as he becomes more aware of the world.
After playing Tetris on his computer for a while he felt a sturdy tap on his shoulder, spinning around and pulling the buds from his ears, he ends up staring at his bosses belly. His boss was a fat balding excuse of a man who had no idea what he was doing that’s why he had people working under him.

“Don’t you ever work? I need those reports ASAP.” the heartless man bellows.

No sooner had the fat man turned when he felt a tap on his own shoulder.

“Here you go.”

The boss wasn’t surprised, he seldom was. “They don’t pay me enough to deal with these punks.” he mutters as he walks away.

6:55 the clock reads. Scrolling through his files he comes across an old favorite of his, Down To Nothing. At one time he had known these guys personally, but that was a long time ago.

“Stop pushing your shit in my face/ I’m not gonna listen/ I’m not gonna change”

The kid from Down To Nothing was right. I’m 25, still hitting up shows, getting into fights, and doing the same things I’ve been doing since I was 16. I was just as washed up at 18 as I am now. I mean I work and make about 70 grand a year, I have a run down apartment downtown, I’ve got a decent car. I’ve never gone without food. My bills are paid, I can usually do what I want with no worries. Guess I’m not going to change. And he was right, his wardrobe was respectable he had everything he ever wanted, mostly music. He didn’t much care for the 600 dollar Armani suits he wore, but he did his job well and it paid accordingly.
 
     

[3 have shown me Show me your knife]

 
untitled   
03:55pm 17/10/2004
 
mood: apathetic
with the stars as his guide
he streaks down the road
he has no heart
this demon sitting beside him
is devouring it with every word it breathes
talks about someone who shouldn't matter
speaks the horrors someone has put it through
sits there shredding and twisting his heart
"my heart is yours," he says
"i'm as good as my word, i'd die for you"
he says as his car rockets through the night
he glances into those beautiful eyes
only illuminated by the rapidly passing street lights
he feels how much pain they have caused him
but he's so happy
that it was the one that caused the pain
"this is what they call a tragic love affair"
he thinks to himself
his blood burning in his veins
he embraces her with a kiss
this is how they found them

our demons always get the best of us
 
     

[Show me your knife]

 
i never meant to hurt anyone, but you... heh... well that's an entirely different story   
02:05pm 09/09/2004
 
mood: im a racecar in the fuckin red
swerving my way home
way too drunk
way too fast
this isn't a problem
except i can't decide where home is

the pungent smell of a burnt clutch seeps through my air vents
just another reminder of my temper that you flair
i snuff another cigarette
leaving the air in my car thick with smoke
i crack the window to gain some clarity in the world
alone
on the highway
it all feels the same anymore
as the smoke drifts out
i see it
i finally see it all

the question left:
would you cry?
would you cry if i died tonight?
would you cry and mean it?
 
     

[Show me your knife]